It's a Bittersweet Symphony

This song has always been powerful to me. When I'm sad it fits my mood, when I'm happy it fits my mood. Not many songs can do both. Just thought I'd share the lyrics with you :-)

Cause it's a bitter sweet symphony this life...
Trying to make ends meet, you're a slave to the money then you die.
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down...
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah.

No change, I can't change, I can't change, I can't change,
but I'm here in my mold, I am here in my mold.
But I'm a million different people from one day to the next...
I can't change my mold, no,no,no,no,no,no,no

Well I've never prayed,
But tonight I'm on my knees, yeah.
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah.
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now.
But the airwaves are clean and there's nobody singing to me now.

No change, I can't change, I can't change, I can't change,
but I'm here in my mold, I am here in my mold.
And I'm a million different people from one day to the next
I can't change my mold, no,no,no,no,no

Have you ever been down?
I can't change, I can't change...

Cause it's a bittersweet symphony this life.
Trying to make ends meet, trying to find somebody then you die.
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down...
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah.

You know I can't change, I can't change, I can't change,
but I'm here in my mold, I am here in my mold.
And I'm a million different people from one day to the next.
///I can't change my mold, no,no,no,no,no///

(It justs sex and violence melody and silence)
(It justs sex and violence melody and silence)
(I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down)
(It justs sex and violence melody and silence)
(I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down)
(Been down)
(Ever been down)
(Ever been down)(Lalalalalalaaaaaaaa...)
(Ever been down)
(Ever been down)
(Have you ever been down?)
(Have you ever been down?)
(Have you ever been down?)

Finally Learning To Drive!

Well ever since I was 15 I've been coming up with excuses why I don't want to get a drivers license but the truth is I've just been a coward. The thought of driving has terrified me all my young adult life but finally I've got my learner license and I'm having lessons. I just got back from driving through busy traffic in the rain and the dark so I'm feeling really confident with it now :D Yay me!

I reeeeally want to buy a new Mini when I'm able to drive on my own. After seeing The Italian Job I just love them!

My Geeky Side Shines Through

When I was in primary school I was one of the cool kids, but when I got to high school I ended up being one of the geeks. Looking back, I think I did it deliberately because, and this sounds harsh, 'geeks' didn't get girlfriends, so I didn't seem unusual in that crowd. I didn't end up coming out until 18, when I'd left for university. Anyway the reason I bring that up is because I learned to enjoy computer games and fantasy novels and that sort of thing when I was in high school. Robert Jordans Wheel of Time and Terry Goodkinds Sword Of Truth were the books I enjoyed most.

When I was 15 I had to write a short story for an English project. I wrote about the birth of a child and the death of her mother shortly after childbirth, and the story was in a fantasy setting. I got high praise for it from my teacher and she told me she wanted to read more. She was really an inspirational teacher and it got me to thinking about what would happen in this childs life. Soon other characters started to feature, and I wrote a couple of chapters which I was quite proud of.

Then I got involved in an online game called Neverwinter Nights which is based on dungeons and dragons. I found a game server I enjoyed and started playing characters that I had dreamed up for the novel. It was a roleplaying server so it was a great way to get to suss out how the character thinks and behaves. As time has passed I've found myself thinking more and more about the novel. When I'm reading my mind starts drifting to plans for my own book and then I realize that I've just read a whole page and I can't recall a word of it.

So recently I've started writing again. The chapters I wrote when I was in my teens aren't relevant to the story anymore but I really think this is something I can finish because I have a ton of ideas buzzing around in my head. The picture included is images I found online that represent roughly what some of my characters will look like. Since I'm not an artist I have to go on other peoples work, which is a bit frustrating because I have images of the characters in my head.


In other news, I got the job :D yay me! I start May 28th and I'm pretty stoked about it.

American Idol - My Guilty Pleasure

I know that alot of people think American Idol is trash but I really couldn't care less. Every season there is someone that wows me and I love watching them perform.

This season Melinda Doolittle is my pick and I think she outshines everyone but Kelly Clarkson. If she doesn't win I will be shocked but winning isn't important. She's proven she's much more than a backup singer and one way or another I have no doubt she'll be releasing an album, and I can't wait to buy it :-)

The moment she showed up for the audition and sang For Once In My Life I wanted her to win. It's awesome watching her growing and becoming more confident. She's really inspiring.

Suzie may have a contender for my favorite diva ^.^

Blast From The Not So Distant Past

I watched the Rockstar INXS dvd today and it reminded me how much I love Suzie McNeil. I want her to become insanely popular and make dozens of records so I can have my own little Suzie collection.

Recently she released a music video called 'Hung Up', and I promise it's not a Madonna cover. I've linked to the video cause Crawl by Atlas has seen enough coverage for now hehe.

I'm glad she didn't win Rockstar INXS because it means she can do her own thing, but at the same time it irks me she didn't make it because she deserved it. Yeah it's great that JD Fortune doesn't have to live on the street anymore but my god was he an ass. I really think he won because he was the closest resemblance to the original singer, both vocally and in appearance. And I think that's a shame because there's no reason they couldn't have taken the band in a new direction.

Suzie also did a great job with Clay Aiken singing I Want To Know What Love Is, but unfortunately it's listed as a Clay Aiken song and she's just 'backup'. I couldn't find it on youtube except as music to an image compilation, but if you hear it, now you'll know it's Suzie :-)

Apparently all gay men need a Diva, it's like rule number one in the 'So you like boys' handbook. So I think I'm gonna have to choose Suzie!

Aaanyway, yay Suzie for releasing Hung Up, and hopefully there'll be many more to come.

P.S. I've just ordered a signed copy of her new CD, Broken and Beautiful!!! Whoot! You can also listen to a few of her songs on her My Space

Absolut Exhaustion

Hellos!

I've been away visiting my sister for the last few days which is why there's been no blog entry. It was great to catch up with my little sis :-) We even went to the Hamilton Zoo together, which was seriously lacking in lions, camels, pandas and elephants, but the rest was all cool.

I took the bus home last night after a long day with her cause I have an interview this morning for that job I mentioned earlier. Unfortunately I couldn't sleep last night, dunno if it was nerves or what but I think I fell asleep about 4am :-(

So now I'm completely exhausted, but I thought I'd use the Absolut Hunk picture to make me feel a bit better hehe. Oh well, wish me luck for the interview!

Sinfully Delicious

Ookay so the healthy eating isn't going as well as it could, but I'm a work in progress so I won't beat myself up about it too much. After downing a Coke and a couple of hot dogs the deadly sin of the day has to be Gluttony. Shame on me!

Speaking of yummy things, a friend of mine pointed out that I forgot someone very important from my top five list. Wentworth Miller, the sexy star of Prison Break, who also featured in that psychos music video (yes I'm talking about Mariah Carey). How I could forget this walking hunk of sex I don't know, but thanks Matthias for reminding me :-) The question is where would he feature? I think I'd have to bump off Justin Timberlake because really I didn't do Eric justice putting him behind Justin, but he definitely fits behind Wentworth.....ummm...what was I saying?

Oh yeah. So Wentworth is now number 4 and justin timberlake can take a hike. In the woods. With me. Just the two of us. Any time. Seriously.

In other news I'm hoping to start a new job soon. I'm probably jumping the gun a bit on this because I've only just arranged for the second interview, but it's at a finance company, in their call centre. It looks alot like the call centre work I have been doing in the past, only less medical terminology and more financial calculations. Billing was never a weak point of mine but never something I exactly enjoyed either, but the company looks like a fun place to work so I'm eager to get the role. Fingers crossed

Hmm all that talk of Wentworth Miller has got me commiting two deadly sins today.

Oh...My...

Here's where I list my top five male celebrities. Not so much based on their talent as it is on their *cough* ahem...yeah.

5 - Eric Dane, a.k.a. McSteamy. Ohhh when he comes out of the shower in that Greys Anatomy episode...wowser.



4 - Justin Timberlake. I know! I can't believe I put him on here either. But I did say it's not about their talent hehe. Have you seen him topless? Good god.

3 - Steve Sandvoss. He starred in the gay romance, Latter Days. But it was just acting and he is in fact straight. *sighs*



2 - Orlando Bloom. Need I say more? Of course not, but I'm going to! As if he wasn't hot enough as Legolas in lord of the rings, he had to go and get sexier as Will Turner in Pirates of the Carribean. Sure Johnny Depp gave him a run for his money but for overall sex appeal it's got to be Orlando.

1 - Jesse Metcalfe. The hunky gardener from Desperate Housewives, as featured to the left, takes out the top spot. It's just a shame his flatmate didn't hook into him instead of Mrs Vandercamps son.


I think I could easily make this a top ten but I'll restrain myself :-)

Until next time!

Time To Get Buff

I'm upping the exercise and dropping the food intake cause it's time to get sexy :-)

As I've mentioned, Pink is coming to New Zealand! Yay for that. And then in May tickets go on sale to see Christina Aguilera. God I'm gay to be getting excited about that, but I don't care, cause I can't wait. I'm swapping out Ameries 'Take Control' video for Candyman by Xtina in case you don't know what her latest song is like.

So why am I talking about Pink and Christina but using a Gwen Stefani pic? Well, I dunno, but she's hot and she rocks so I'm going with it. Plus she's fit, which works with the theme.

Well I'm off to pay a visit to the crosstrainer. Adios!

Do You Have To Have Faith?

I doubt George Michael was meaning faith in the religious sense but hey, I like a good pun. I come from a pretty religious family, not so much my immediate family but cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. Almost every one of them is heavily into the Christian faith. Which is hard for me, being gay and agnostic.

The important thing to me though is that my mother and sister are cool with it, and they are. They couldn't be better really. Everyone else just has to draw their own conclusions, and if they decide that me being gay is too much of an obstacle then I need to remember that that's their issue and not mine.

In the past it's really got to me when I get a bad reaction to my sexuality. That probably sounds silly to most people, but to me being gay is a huge part of me, not just in the sense that I have relationships with men but for me it defines the kind of person I am and what I enjoy doing. Beer and Rugby (the two manliest things a kiwi bloke can enjoy) are the furthest things from my mind when I'm thinking of a fun thing to do. I'd rather drink a classy cocktail and dance to R&B/Pop/Dance. Shopping is my idea of a good time. I watch Desperate Housewives and I bloody well like it! But I have a hard time being open about these things with people who aren't like minded. So that's my mission at the moment. Try and build my confidence so that I can just be myself, no matter who I'm with or what I'm doing. You won't ever hear me say 'I'm here and I'm queer, get used to it', but that is the sort of attitude that I think I need to adopt.

Umm, that's about all I've got to say. I'm liking this blog thing. Just to be able to put your thoughts out there is really liberating.

Learn to Crawl

Heya.

Just a quick post to point out that I added the video for Crawl by kiwi band Atlas. These guys are great and need to be spread right across the internet so the whole world can see for themselves that New Zealand music rocks.

EDIT: I swapped out the music video so here's the link :) Crawl - Atlas

Civil Unions

Well it's nice to know that some day if I meet the man of my dreams I can legally 'join' with him, but if that ever happens I think I would refer to it as a marriage, a wedding and a husband. Civil Union is pretty damn unromantic.

My sister got married late last year. Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol was the song that played while she walked down the aisle and it really was great. It got me thinking about what song I would want playing when it's my turn. Then I heard Life is Beautiful by Vega 4. It has a similar style to Chasing Cars and I think, future partner willing, that would be my choice. So now you need to post a comment and tell me what your march down the aisle would be accompanied by :-)

My F*ck It Bucket

Well if you followed my link to Something Sophisticated you might know what a F*ck It Bucket is and I think it's a cool idea. So here's mine:

1 - Alanis Morissettes Jagged Little Pill, either original or 10th Anniversary Accoustic, I'm easy :)
2 - Fejioa infused Vodka with Old Fashioned Applejuice (none of this 'crisp' crap)
3 - Maggi Garlic Prawns
4 - A full season of Will & Grace

I'm getting warm fuzzies just thinking about it.

Explaining the Name

All of your demons will wither away
Ecstasy comes and they cannot stay
You'll understand when you come my way
Coz all of my demons have withered away

The song is Demons by Fatboy Slim, featuring Macy Gray. A song like this might make you think I'm religious, and if that's the case then you couldn't be more wrong. I have a bit of a fascination with good and evil but I'm completely agnostic. I just love the lyrics because it's basically saying push through the hard times because there's good times ahead, and sometimes that's something you need to hear.

So no, my blog name is nothing dodgy, and is definitely not a drug reference (hehe). But I like it so I'm sticking with it. By the way, my name is Andrew to some, Andy to most, and for some reason Pants/Andypants seems to catch on with a few people. Go figure.

I'm 24 and live in an eastern suburb of Auckland, in the North Island of New Zealand. I'm what we call here a Pakeha, which basically means I'm a white guy, with Irish/English heritage, but born and raised here, as were my parents and grandparents.

I'm starting this blog because my good friend James from California has started one called Something Sophisticated (a very stylie name, and by the way James, sorry for using the same layout as you but it really is the best one :P ) *insert link here*
http://somethingsophisticated.blogspot.com/

...and I thought it would be a good way for me to express my thoughts, even if no one else reads it. This being an introduction, I should probably keep it short. So I think it's time to wave buh bye and say see you next time. But before I do I should just raise my hand and point out one minor detail. I'm gay. Lots easier to type than to say, but I am 'out' to most people in my life so it's getting easier and easier as time goes by. I just wanted to mention it because it's relevant to me, so it might be relevant to whether or not you want to keep reading.

Anyways, thanks for stopping by :)